sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
