grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
