My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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