Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
