how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
