You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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