All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
