mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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