You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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