Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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