i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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