wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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