Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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