So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
3pm strippers are depressing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
