Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
