I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
