come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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