She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
