Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
