WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
