The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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