Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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