her vagine was all disorganized.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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