I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
