i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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