I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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