Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
