Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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