whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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