yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this will be a night to untag.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
