I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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