yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
