There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
