omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it's like iHOP with fire
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
