So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
