piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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