omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
