...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
