You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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