ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You smell like stripper and shame
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
