yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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