and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
