Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
