Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
