her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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