Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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