i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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