If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
