If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
