just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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