So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
