Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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