It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how can u be prego again
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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