She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
