i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
