I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
